The Seishi in Concert
by PandemoniumofSounds
Summary: The Seishi belt it out at a karaoke bar, not as lame as it sounds. I swear.
1. Chap 1

Disclaimer: Songs and chars ain't mine.

The small room was crowded. A stage. A mike. A sound system and a few coolers of cans. Beer and soda. It was karaoke night. Just a fun night of tunes, friends and drinking. Right?

Nakago grimaced and rolled his eyes in disgust reflecting on how below him this whole charade was. Soi was leaning against him her arms wrapped protectively around his chest and exchanging cold glances with Tomo. Ashiare sat on the floor gnawing at his arm as Miboshi levitated above him. Suboshi and Tamahome were in a yelling match that would have escalated into a death match had Amiboshi and Chichiri not restrained them. Mitsukake was stroking Tama as Chiriko silently composed psychological profiles of Suboshi and Tamahome and reflected on how he could write a most engrossing thesis on the instinctive impulse of vengeance. Tasuki and Nuriko were busy trying to out do each other on the strongest proof they could consume without becoming too wasted to sit up straight (Meaning at all). Hotohori was infatuated with running his hands through his long hair and Miaka and Yui stood in the front of the room on a small stage. Miaka was stuffing her face with pretzels as Yui hooked up a sound system and grabbed the microphone. 

"Ok, I think we're all set up here. Thank you all for turning up." She said eyeing Suboshi as he stared at her with a dreamy look. Tasuki leapt up from his chair, fan in one hand, beer can in the other.

"Thanks!? Thanks for what, huh? It ain't like we had a f^%$#^% choice! What are we doing anyways!?" Miaka looked up from her empty bag and said in that oh-so horrible chipper voice

"We're having a concert! Isn't it great?" The Seishi sat in silence and Yui rolled her eyes.

"Who comes up with these stupid ideas anyway?" ((Hey shove it blondie! I can do whatever I damn well please!)) Yui looked up at the ceiling. "Oh? And who are you?" ((The author. You know what that means?)) What? ((That means I can manipulate you more then Nakkie, so feign happiness or I'll have you singing love songs to Suboshi, got it?)) Yui's eyes went wide and she forced a big smile onto her face. "Great, isn't it? Er . . .anyway, you all picked a song to sing. So let's get started, ok?" The Seishi, having been frightened by the satanic author all nodded fearfully and resigned themselves to a night of pain and terror far worse then anything Nakago could have dreamed up. 

Miaka bounced off the stage and landed in Tamahome's lap as Yui rolled her eyes and announced: "Soi volunteered to go first. She'll be singing Lovefool by the Cardigans! Thanks Soi." Yui took her seat as far from Suboshi as possible. Soi calmly took the stage as Nakago tensed.

Tasuki laughed "Ah, this oughta be good." Soi glared at him and began to sing and dance as the music came on. Surprisingly, her voice blended with music very well and even Taskui shut up to listen.

__

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem  
you love me no longer, I know

Tomo: He loved her? (Amiboshi smacks him)

  
_and maybe there is nothing  
that I can do to make you do_

Suboshi: (rolls eyes before returning them to Yui) Right, Nakago married! Lady Yui and I on the other hand . . .

Yui: (Rolls eyes) Dream on yo-yo boy!

  
_Mama tells me I shouldn't bother  
that I ought just stick to another man  
a man that surely deserves me  
but I think you do!_  
  
_So I cry and I pray and I beg_

Yui: I always thought she was rather composed . . .

Suboshi: (Breathy) Yeah . . .  
  
_Love me love me  
say that you love me_

Tomo: That'll be the day.

Nuriko: Yeah, imagine, Nakago with feelings!

  
_fool me fool me  
go on and fool me_

Tamahome: Sorry, he only does that to Yui!

Miaka: Baka! (Smacks him) 

  
_love me love me  
pretend that you love me_

Tomo: He does!

__

  
leave me leave me  
just say that you need me

Tasuki: Don't worry, he needs you . . .every night . . . after dark . . .

Suboshi: (Closes eyes and shakes head) Bad picture! Bad picture . . .*smiles dreamily* Yui on the other ha-

Yui: (Smacks him across the head) Baka!

__

So I cry and I pray for you to  


Love me love me  
say that you love me

Tomo: Or me!

  
_leave me leave me  
just say that you need me  
I can't care 'bout anything but you..._

Ahitare: (Growls and Soi acknowledges him with a nod before returning to singing her heart out to a very red Nakago.)  
  
_Lately I have desperately pondered,  
spent my nights awake_

Tamahome: Well Nakago would be pretty bad if you fell asleep, you know?

Miaka: (Mutters) You might want to take a lesson from him . . .

Tamahome: What!?

Miaka: (Smiles sweetly) Nothing! 

__

and I wonder  
what I could do have done in another way  
to make you stay  
Reason will not lead to solution  
I will end up lost in confusion

Yui: Just like everyone else . . .

Chiriko: She might want to consult Miaka on how to deal with those feelings of confusion . . .

Chichiri: Yeah, Miaka could really help her with that, no da?

  
_I don't care if you really care_

Nakago: (Softly) Then why are you SINGING this!?  


__

as long as you don't go

So I cry, I pray and I beg . . .

__

Love me love me  
say that you love me

Tomo: (Leaps up and begins to accompany Soi)

Hotohori: Tasuki, fry him won't you?

Tasuki: REKKA SHIEN! 

  
_fool me fool me  
go on and fool me_

Amiboshi: I think we need to get Soi a few self-esteem self-help books . . .

Suboshi: (Still gazing at Yui) Yeah . . .

Miboshi: Why isn't the Priestess singing these lines?

Suboshi: (Shouts) HOW DARE YOU INSULT LADY YUI!

Yui: Will you all shut up? I knew what he was doing for cryin' out loud! And thanks Suboshi.

Suboshi: (Dreamily) Anytime . . .

  
_love me love me  
pretend that you love me_

Tomo: (Squeaks) He does . . .

__

  
leave me leave me  
just say that you need me

Tasuki: Like I said he needs you at night!

Miaka: Hey Nuriko, maybe you should sing this to Hotoho- (Smacked by Nuriko)

Chiriko: Theoretically almost any of you girls could sing this to at least one of the men!

__

So I cry and I beg for you to  


Love me love me  
say that you love me  
leave me leave me  
just say that you need me  
I can't care 'bout anything but you...

anything but you

All: We get the point! Enough with the repetition!  


__

love me love me

say that you love me

Suboshi: Not gonna happen!

__

fool me fool me

go on and fool me

Tamahome: That's Yui's line . . .

__

love me love me

I know that you need me

Nakago: (yells) Then why are you singing this infernal song!?

__

I can't care 'bout anything but you . . .

Soi bowed to the applause and shyly took her seat next to a very red Nakago. All the Seishi (With the exception of a charred Tomo) snickered at Nakago's discomfort and looked rather amused. Chichiri grinned and said

"Maybe this won't be so bad after all, no da?" Nuriko nodded.

"Yeah, we got to see Nakago embarrassed and it's only the first song!" Tasuki frowned.

"Why is this written in story form now and script form when Soi was singing?" Yui shrugged and replied

"Because the author is an idiot who can't keep a steady flow in a simple sto- ((Suboshi and a love song)) . . .I mean . . .um, it's easier to follow? ((Nice save)) Ok . . next is . . . oh no . . ." She slumped in her seat and buried her face in her hands as Suboshi leapt up waving his hand.

"It's me! It's me! I'm singing Number One Crush by Garbage!" He rushed onto the stage with a maniacal look of pleasure and began to sing, intently staring at Yui while clutching the mike.

__

I would die for you   
I would die for you 

Yui: (moans softly) Oh God . . . ((Heh heh, I told you not to mess with me.))

__

  
I've been dying just to feel you by my side   
To know that you're mine 

Nuriko: (Shouts) Ain't gonnahappen!

Soi: (Shakes head) Poor mislead boy

Nakago: (Mutters) Look who's talking . . ._  
  
I will cry for you   
I will cry for you _

Yui: I KNEW it was a mistake to tell him he could do that!

Soi:(looks at Amiboshi) Um, I thought you were the crying twin, no offense.

Amiboshi: (Shakes head) He's got it baaaaadddd . . .

__

  
I will wash away your pain with all my tears   
And drown your fear 

Miaka: (Sincerely)Well that WOULD be nice of him . . .

Chichiri: (Sadly) Tough job though, no da?_  
  
I will pray for you   
I will pray for you   
I will sell my soul for something pure and true   
Someone like you _

All: AWWWWWWWWWWW! That's so sweet!

Yui: One of my wishes should've been to smite you all!_  
  
See your face every place that I walk in   
Hear your voice every time I am talking _

Tamahome: Can we say . . .obsessive?

__

  
You will believe in me   
And I will never be ignored   


Yui: (Darkly) Can we say stalker?

__

  
I will burn for you   
Feel pain for you   
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart   
and tear it apart 

Chiriko: Those are pleasant images . . .

Tasuki: What the f^%$ is WRONG with this kid?

Miaka: I have no idea!

Tomo: Do you ever?

Nuriko: This boy is standing right on the edge . . .

Hotohori: This boy went OVER the edge! 

Amiboshi: I would be hurt this isn't about loyalty to me . . .but it's just SCARY!

Mitsukake: If you'd like . . .I have some medicine that might . . .er, CALM him a little._  
  
I will lie for you   
Beg and steal for you   
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see   
You're just like me _

Yui: (Shouts) I am NOTHING like you!

Hotohori: Talk about denial . . .

Nuriko: Give the girl a break!_  
  
Violate all the love that I'm missing_

Miboshi: What love? That girl is ice!

Soi: So the poor boy is delusional.

Tomo: Look who's talk-(ZAP) Urk . . .

__

  
Throw away all the pain that I'm living 

Tamahome: (jumps up) You wanna know what REAL pain is you homicidal fre- (Miaka smacks him)

Miaka: You want the author to have you singing love songs to Nakago!?

__

  
You will believe in me   
And I can never be ignored 

Suboshi: (Breaking from the song) Hear that? I'll just keep tryin'!

Yui: (Dives under the table and begins to rock back and forth) This is not happening, this is not happening . . .

Amiboshi: Um . . .Shun, the song?

Suboshi: Oh . . .right! (Starts singing again)_  
  
I would die for you_

Tamahome: You do . . .   


__

I would kill for you 

Nakago: You do . . .  


__

I will steal for you   
I'd do time for you   
I would wait for you 

Tomo: Repeatedly . . .

__

  
I'd make room for you   
I'd sail ships for you   
To be close to you 

Nuriko: This is getting disturbing . . .

Tamahome: GETTING disturbing?

Tasuki: This kid needs some serious f$#$#*&% help!_  
_Miaka: (Darkly) Don't forget defile . . .

To be a part of you   
'Cause I believe in you   
I believe in you   
I would die for you

All: YOU DO!

Nakago: Wasn't THAT an endearing little number?

Yui: I swear I am never going to forgive the author for this. ((Heh Heh)) Soi, why couldn't you sing that one?

Soi: Um . . .because I'm not quite so mentally unstable . . .not so er, INTENSE!

Suboshi jumped off the stage to a slightly . . .ah, UNERVED crowd and sat next to Yui who climbed over Amiboshi and sat staring fearfully at Suboshi with her arms around her knees. 

"What was wrong with the song Lady Yui?" Suboshi asked distraught. 

"That song was f&$#$%ed up kid!" Yelled Tasuki. The others all murmured agreement and Suboshi slumped dejected. Miaka shook her head ruefully at her shaking friend and announced

"Since Yui seems a bit . . .um, distracted at the moment, I'll say the next one! Chiriko will sing 'Just a Girl' by No Doubt!" A brief silence ensued before the room erupted into laughter. Chiriko glanced up at the ceiling looking very sad and betrayed.

"What have I ever done to you?" ((Sorry kid, my friend insisted on this one. Do this and I'll letcha have ear plugs when Mitsukake sings, ok?)) Chiriko grinned and took the stage.

Mitsukake: (Frightened) What AM I singing? ((Wouldn't YOU like to know? Bwuh-hahahahaha!)) Well . . .yes, that's why I asked. ((Arg! These people have no sense of sarcasm!)) 

__

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes 

Tomo: Will it match that ridiculous outfit you always wear?

Yui: Miaka can lend you one of hers.

Tasuki: (Grins) Yeah, Tamahome can take it off for her

Tamahome: BAKA! (Smacks him) 

Nuriko: (Shaking head) No, no . . .the colors would clash!

__

I'm exposed 

And it's no big surprise 

Amiboshi: I sure was.

Suboshi: (Still sulking) Yeah, you'd think they'd've figured it out from the opening credits

__

Don't you think I know 

Exactlywhere I stand 

This world is forcing me 

To hold your hand 

Soi: (Chuckles) Who? His mother's?

Nakago: Soi, how uncharacteristically cruel of you . . .I like it . . . 

__

'Cause I'm just a girl, little ol' me 

Tasuki: Now THIS is some funny S^%##!

__

Don't let me out of your sight 

I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite 

Nuriko: That's for sure!

Hotohori: I thought you got over the gay thing!

Nuriko: (Hugs him) Don't worry your highness . . .he's too young for me!

Chichiri: Guess that answers that question, no da?

So don't let me have any rights 

Oh...I've had it up to here! 

Nakago: (Hold his hand two inches off the floor) Where? Here?

Hotohori: (Holds his hand lower) Or here?

__

The moment that I step outside 

So many reasons 

For me to run and hide

Miboshi: (Grinning evily) I can name a few . . .

__

I can't do the little things

I hold so dear 

'Cause it's all those little things 

That I fear 

Tasuki: What so f$#*(&^* scary about STUDYING?

Tamahome: Says the uneducated bandit . . .

Miaka: Says the barely educated farm boy . . .

Yui: Says the educated moron . . . 

Suboshi: (Dreamily) Says the educated, beautiful goddess of my hea(ZAP)

Yui: Thanks Soi.

__

'Cause I'm just a girl,

I'd rather not be 

Tomo: You're not . . .but I must agree with Nuriko, you are starting to seem rather cute . . 

'Cause they won't let me drive 

Late at night 

Chichiri: Why couldn't he drive a cart at night, no da?

Mitsukake: Perhaps he is too small to hold the reins?

__

I'm just a girl, 

Guess I'm some kind of freak 

Soi: (Smirking) No, that's Tomo.

Yui: Or Miboshi . . .

Nuriko: Or Ashtare . . .

Tomo: (Muttering) Tin-plated trollop!

'Cause they all sit and stare 

With their eyes 

Miboshi: (Chuckles) Yes boy . . .the eyes . . . 

Suboshi: Will somebody SHUT HIM UP?

Amiboshi: Calm yourself Shun . . .

Tasuki: No way! Yo-Yo Boy is right! REKKA SHIEN!

__

I'm just a girl, 

Take a good look at me 

Tomo: (Drooling) I am . . .

Soi: Huh, if you thought you blew any chance with Nakago before this evening . . .

__

Just your typical prototype 

Oh...I've had it up to here! 

Oh...am I making myself clear? 

Amiboshi: Painfully so!

Nuriko: Really! What's with the repetition in these songs?

__

I'm just a girl 

All: (Snickering) You don't say!

__

I'm just a girl in the world... 

That's all that you'll let me be! 

Tomo: Well if you asked me REAL nice I might let you be my (ZAP)

All: Thanks Soi

Soi: (Smiles) Anytime so long as it's Tomo!

__

I'm just a girl, living in captivity 

Your rule of thumb 

Makes me worry some 

Miboshi: More then me, boy?

Tasuki: Want some more, huh? REKKA SHIEN!

Miboshi: Ga-ga urk!

__

I'm just a girl, what's my destiny? 

Chichiri: A Suzaku warrior, what else no da?

Hotohori: Perhaps he's been studying too hard.

__

What I've succumbed to 

Is making me numb

I'm just a girl, my apologies 

What I've become is so burdensome

Tasuki: (laughs)What? A whiny pain in the a$$?

__

I'm just a girl, lucky me 

Twiddle-dum there's no comparison 

Nuriko: Wanna bet, Chiriko? Why couldn't I sing this song? ((Sorry, I promised my friend, no da?)) Fine . . . mine better be good! ((It will, it will.))

__

Oh...I've had it up to! 

Tamahome: (Holds hand at seat level) Here?

__

Oh...I've had it up to!! 

Nakago: (Holds hand just above the floor) Here?

__

Oh...I've had it up to here.

Leaping off the stage Chiriko placed his ear plugs in his ear before the merciless laughter of his friends and enemies alike damaged his fragile ego too much. By this time Yui had composed herself enough to stand and announce the next song so long as Amiboshi was between her and his . . .devoted . . .brother. 

"Ok, here's one for the ladies!" She grinned brightly "Hotohori will not only be singing I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred! But doing a little strip tease!" She sat and exchanged a smile with Soi and Miaka as the Emperor took the stage in his lovely red silk robe ((It's good to be the author)) while the gentlemen ((And I use the term LOOSELY)) coughed nervously. Nakago, Tamahome and Suboshi all sat forward slightly, glaring at Hotohori as he began to shake his thing to the music and Nuriko's eyes turned into stars.

__

I'm too sexy for my love 

too sexy for my love 

Love's going to leave me

Tamahome: (Glaring at Miaka) Is he talking about you?

Miaka: (Far gone) Huh . . .what did you say?

I'm too sexy for my shirt 

too sexy for my shirt 

So sexy it hurts 

Soi: Take it off!

Nuriko: Yeah, take it off!

__

And I'm too sexy for Milan 

too sexy for Milan New York and Japan 

Yui and Miaka: (Yell) Noooooooo!

Suboshi and Tamahome: (Growl) I'm gonna KILL this guy . . .

Chichiri: It's funny, no da? Who'da thought that Hotohori could bring Suboshi and Tamahome together, no da?

__

And I'm too sexy for your party 

Too sexy for your party

No way I'm disco dancing

Chichiri: What's disco, no da?

Yui: (Distracted) It's a kind of music . . .

Amiboshi: (whips out flute) Music?

Nuriko: Not THAT kind!

I'm a model you know what I mean 

And I do my little turn on the catwalk 

Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk 

yeah I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my car 

too sexy for my car

Amiboshi: What's a car?

Miboshi: Perhaps that boy Chiriko would know . . .

Chiriko: EEP! No, no I don't!

Tasuki: (Amazed) Chiriko . . .DOESN'T know!? 

Nakago: (Glaring at Soi) They are from Lady Yui's world . . .Soi?

Soi: (Intently watching Hotohori strip) Back off iceman!

__

Too sexy by far

And I'm too sexy for my hat 

Too sexy for my hat 

what do you think about that

Tasuki: (Sarcastic) Well geeze, Hotohori . . .Suzaku forbid you loose the bucket hat!

Tomo: Even though it does nothing for the outfit!

I'm a model you know what I mean 

And I do my little turn on the catwalk 

Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk 

yeah I shake my little touche on the catwalk

Nuriko: (Smiling) Now THIS I like . . .

Soi, Yui, and Miaka: You think YOU like it?

Soi: I have to put up with Iceman . . .

Yui: I get Yo-Yo boy!

Miaka: And I have a completely inexperienced teenager!

__

I'm too sexy for my

too sexy for my

too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean 

All but Yui and Miaka: No.

Soi: (grinning) And I don't care!

Tamahome: What IS a model anyway?

Suboshi: (Watching Yui drool) Something that deserves killing . . .

Nakago: (Watching Soi drool)Agreed.

And I do my little turn on the catwalk 

Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk 

yeah I shake my little touche on the catwalk

Soi, Yui, Nuriko and Miaka: (Cheering, yelling, hooting, whistling) Wahoo! Yay! Take it off! Yeah baby!

Tamahome, Suboshi and Nakago: (Conversing quietly) Ok, so we'll jump him in the back alley after the show . . .Tamahome will lure him in, Suboshi will take him out and Nakago will destroy the remains with that chi blast so then we can . . .

I'm too sexy for my cat

too sexy for my cat 

Poor pussy poor pussy cat

Mitsukake: What has Tama ever done to him?

I'm too sexy for my love 

too sexy for my love

Love's going to leave me

Tasuki: Hey ya hear that? Houki is leavin' him!

Tamahome: (Happily) Just like Miaka did!

Chichiri: The Emperor's failed love life is nothing to make fun of, no da?

Suboshi: (Nodding vehemently) Yes! Yes it is!

And I'm too sexy for this song

Yui, Soi, Nuriko and Miaka: (Dissapointed) Oh . . .

All the boys (Except Nuriko): (Cheers) YAY!

Yui: Can you sing it again?

Suboshi: Yes, sing it again so I can take aim!

Yui: (Sneers) You know, take a lesson from your brother, he didn't say ANYTHING nasty during that! 

Amiboshi: (Face turning red) Yeah . . .well I kinda did take off my shirt with Miaka . . .(trails)

Suboshi: (Stunned) WHAT!?!?!

A flushed and triumphant and clad only in a pair of borrowed boxer shorts ((So good!)) emperor leapt from the stage to the loud whistles and applause of the female members of the audience (And Nuriko) and the iced glares from Nakago, Suboshi and Tamahome. 

"Ya know Hotohori, I would REALLY like to talk for you a moment after the concert if you don't mind?" Tamahome growled. Hotohori smiled and shook his head. "Of course not." Yui, still applauding, stood with a broad smile.

"That was really, really, really great! Anyway, moving right along next we have Miaka singing . . ." she trailed for a moment and gave her friend a look that crossed a smile and a look of expectant disgust "What else? It's Rainin' Men by the Weather Girls!" Miaka bounced in her own special (Read: painfully annoying) way to the stage and grinned idiotically as the music came on. Happily, Yui had the foresight to turn the music waaaaaaay up so Miaka's off-key screech could barely be heard.

__

Hi (hi), we're your weather girls (uh-huh)

And have we got news for you (you better listen)

Get ready all you lonely girls

Yui and Soi: (Cheering) Yeah!

Suboshi: (Muttering) She wouldn't be so lonely if she'd just let me-

Amiboshi: Quit before she hears you Shun.

_And leave those umbrellas at home (all right) _

__

Humidity is rising (uh rising) 

Barometer's getting low (how low girl, uh-oh)

According to all sources (what sources now) 

The street's the place to go (we better hurry up)

Chiriko: It sounds as though a storm were coming . . .

Tamahome: Sounds like the ladies are gonna incite a riot!

Tasuki: I HATE women! They're cunning!

Mitsukake: I would think if men were plummeting from the sky, women would want the safety of cover.

__

'Cause tonight for the first time (first time) 

Just about half past 10 (half past 10) 

For the first time in history 

It's gonna start raining men (start raining men) 

Soi, Yui and Nuriko: YEAH! (Start singing along)

All the other guys: (Dumbfounded) WHAT!?

Chiriko: The lack of logic is just . . .beyond me!

Tamahome: They get picked up in a wind storm or somethin'?

Chichiri: It sounds scary, no da?

__

It's raining men, Hallelujah 

It's raining men, 

Amen I'm gonna go out, 

I'm gonna let myself get 

Absolutely soaking wet 

It's raining men,

Hallelujah

__

It's raining men, every specimen 

Tall, blond, dark and lean

Nuriko: (Dreamily) His majesty!

Soi: (Sighing) Nakago!

Miaka: (Pauses) Tama . . .home! (Continues singing)

Yui: (Looking at Suboshi) Don't think I'M saying anything!

Suboshi: (Desperately) But I'm lean!

Amiboshi: (Shaking head) Give it up!

__

Rough and tough and strong and mean 

Soi: OH! She's describing Nakago perfectly!

Tamahome: Yeah, or Tasuki!

Tasuki: REKKA SHIEN!

Tamahome: Gurk . . .

__

God bless Mother Nature 

Chichiri: That must be Taiitsukun, no da!

__

She's a single woman too

Tamahome: Yep, definitely Taiitsukun!

__

She took on the heavens 

Mitsukake: Actually, we took on the heavens.

__

And she did what she had to do

She fought every angel

She rearranged the sky 

So that each and every woman 

Could find the perfect guy

Yui: (Mockingly bitter) Or at least Miaka could have five or more doting over her constantly . . .

Suboshi: (Sincere) You still have me Lady Yui!

Yui: (Wide-eyed) I think . . .I'm going. . .to cry.

Hotohori: But . . .but I'M the perfect guy!

__

It's raining men, 

Hallelujah 

It's raining men, 

Amen It's raining men, 

Hallelujah 

It's raining men, Amen 

Tasuki: What kind of f^$#*&%d up song IS this ANYWAY!?!?!

Tomo: Hmmm . . .an illusion of raining Nakagos. That's a concept I could learn to like.

Nakago: I will kill you someday.

Suboshi: Um . . .

Amiboshi: A little late for that.

I hear stormy weather movin' in

'Bout to break it, about to begin

Hear the thunder, don't you lose your head 

Rip up the roof and stay in bed (rip up the roof and stay in bed) 

Tomo: Is this song about Soi?

Soi: Oh shut up! Painted freak! (ZAP)

__

God bless Mother Nature

She's a single woman too 

She took on the heavens 

And she did what she had to do 

She fought every angel 

She rearranged the sky

So that each and every woman 

Could find the perfect guy

Tasuki: SCREW THIS! (Drinks until he passes out)

Tamahome: When do we MEN get a few songs!?

With a squeal of electricity the song cut short and all looked to see Nakago standing by the sound system with the dangling plug in hand. "There will be no more of this." ((Hey, she hasn't finished the song!)) Nakago looked up with his patent death glare. "You will move onto the next song. Miaka can not sing." Miaka squeeked indignatly with rage.

"Hey, I'm not the one who sang 'Blue Eyes Blue' Blondie!" ((Ok, ok . . .next, let's move on! Yeesh.)) Miaka pouted but jumped off stage and was comforted by Tamahome and his eight, seven, six, three and going . . .hotdogs. Yui, still humming the song stood and announced the next song.

"Speaking of Blue Eyes Blue, Nakago is next!" The room was dead silent as Nakago stood. Yui swallowed and continued. "But, um, he's only lip-synching, ok guys? He's going to sin- er, lip-synch The World is Not Enough . . .also by Garbage." Nakago gave Soi's shoulder a quick squeeze before he took the stage as she blinked and gave him a quizzical look. 

__

I know how to hurt 

Ashtare: (Growls)

Tamahome: THAT'S for sure!

Miaka: Hear! Hear!

  
_I know how to heal_

Misukake: For some reason I highly doubt that.

Chichiri: Yeah, I'm gonna second that doubt, no da?

  
_I know what to show  
And what to conceal_

Yui:(Narrows eyes) Yeah, he always was a manipulative b%#*&^d!

Miboshishi: He is better covered then Soi . . .

Tomo: Unfortunately.

__

I know when to talk

Tasuki: Does he ever SHUT UP?

  
_And I know when to touch_

Soi: (Sighs happily) I can attest to that!

  
_No-one ever die from wanting to much_

Nuriko: Except Kuto's emperor . . .

Amiboshi: And Nakago . . .

Chiriko: The irony is amazing!

__

The world is not enough

Miaka: Yeah, just HAD to come to our world, didn't ya?

Tamahome: Now THAT was a fight.

Yui: Suboshi came too, you know.

Suboshi: (Gleefully)You remembered?

  
_But it is such a perfect place to start my love  
And if you're strong enough  
Together we can take the world apart my love_

Soi: (Eyes closed) I LOVE this song . . .

Tomo: (Muttering) Trifling whore! Seduce Nakago into (Trails off into incoherent rambling)

__

People like us  
Know how to survive

Tasuki: What the f*&%k does that mean?

Suboshi: Hate to break it to you Tomo, but he ain't singing this to you!

Yui: He's right Tomo . . .and Miboshi . . .and Ashtare

Amiboshi: Don't forget Chiriko, Mitsukake and Nuriko!

Nuriko: Hey! His Highness also joins me!

Chiriko: (Shaking head) The irony . . .

__

  
There's no point in living  
If you can't feel the life  


Tamahome: Oh yeah, and iceman up there would know a whole LOT about feelings

Chiriko: Again, the irony, it's amazing!

Tasuki: You're one to talk, sounds like Miaka falls asleep plenty early! Ha ha!

__

We know when to kiss  
And we know when to kill

Soi: (Smirking) That's for damn sure.

Yui: (To Suboshi) My, my, TWO lesson you need to learn!

Suboshi: (meekly) Yes, Lady Yui.

  
_If we can't have it all  
Then nobody will_

Hotohori: I do believe Nakago would rather have Seiryu destroy the world then allow Suzaku to win.

__

The world is not enough  
But it is such a perfect place to start...my love  
And if you're strong enough  
Together we can take the world apart...my love

Tasuki: What's with this f#^#ing repetition?

Nuriko: Cool it Tasuki! Songs repeat! At least there hasn't been too much!

__

I feel sick

Mitsukake: Don't look at me.

  
_I feel scared_

All: (Stunned silence then laughter)

Suboshi: YEAH! The ICEMAN is SCARED! 

Yui: This is great! (Claps Suboshi on the shoulder)

Suboshi: (Sighs happily) Yeah, it is . . .

Tasuki: (Laughing) Make sure you don't wet yourself tough guy!

Tamahome: What, he see Taiitsukun?

Chirchiri: Uh, Tamahome, only you're scared of Taiitsukun, no da?

  
_I feel ready  
And yet unprepared_

Miboshi: And now he's contradicting himself?

Amiboshi: I can't imagine Nakago NOT having things planned out a few years in advance!

__

The world is not enough  
But it is such a perfect place to start my love  
And if you're strong enough  
Together we can take the world apart...my love

Tamahome: Oh great . . . the new world rulers will be an iceman and a dominatrix (ZAP)

Soi: (Threateningly) Don't ruin my song money man!

Chichiri: Why would they take it apart?

Chiriko: Perhaps I would be allowed to study it's remains? 

__

The world is not enough 

The world is not enough

Miaka: Evidently not if you had to come to our world . . .

Yui: And mess it up pretty badly too.

  



	2. Chap 2

pThe group of Seishi and their respective Mikos sat sullen in the smoky room of the karaoke bar. Mutters and curses and threats at the author circulated.

p"Oh don't look so damn glum all of you!" A voice burst from the corner of the room, the Seishi and Mikos turned to see a dark haired girl with glasses and a fearsome snarl slouching against the wall. 

p"Who the F*%@ are you!?" Tasuki demanded. The girl stuck her tongue out.

p"I'm the f(&%#g author." She said crossing her arms. Yui leapt up.

p"What the hell are YOU doing here?" She yelled before gulping and casting a sideways glance at Suboshi. The girl sighed and rubbed her arm.

p"Well . . .I've decided to do something nice for Tamahome. See, I wrote out this great part where he sang this really nasty song to Miaka . . .but in my great benevolence I have decided to let him sing a . . .well, nicer one to her. She sighed again and cursed her conscience.

p"What!? But that's not f %*(*&^# fair!!!" Spluttered Suboshi and Tasuki. The girl grinned and winked at them.

p"Oh, it still opens him up for easy ridicule. I'm not THAT benevolent!" She tossed a note to Yui. "There's his song. See you all later." She started for the door. The group blinked.

p"Hey, don't you have that super author power that lets you just go 'poof'?" Miaka asked scratching her head. The girl shrugged.

p"Yeah, but I'm gonna hit the restaurant next door, then when they bring the check I'll go poof. Heck, If I got powers and I'm gonna use to benefit me. Not for effect." With that, the author left. Nakago shook his head.

p"I thought she'd be taller or bigger or something to THAT effect." Yui opened the note and a small smile worked its way across her face. She walked onto the stage shaking her head.

p"Ok guys . . .It does suit those two. Tamahome is going to sing 'RunAround Sue' by Dion and the Belmonts. A collective chuckle went around the room as Tamahome took the stage and began bobbing his head to the 50's classic bee-bop/rock music. Tasuki groaned.

p"Awww man . . .Tama-home-boy cant f^$#& sing!"

p"Don't worry . . .I turned the volume really high like with Miaka!" Whispered Yui. Everyone flashed her a thumbs-up sign except Miaka, who blinked confused.

p"You mean you guys couldn't hear me?"

  
p i_Here's my story; it's sad but true._

pTasuki: (Smirks) The story of your life, Tama?

br Nuriko: No . . .his obsession with money!

br Yui: (winks) No, no . . .it's his love story with Miaka! 

br Miaka: (grins)Are you really my best-friend?

  
pi_It's about a girl that I once knew_

pTomo: One must wonder how well he knows the Priestess of Suzaku . . .

br Soi: (Snorts) Not as well as I know Nakago!

br Nakago: (Glares) Must we bring this up here?

  
pi_She took my love than ran around   
bri With every single guy in town_

pChichiri: This is true, no da?

br Nuriko: Yeah, Tama, his highness . . .

br Tasuki: That dammed usurper of my gang!

br Tomo: I deceived her . . .

br Amiboshi: Me!

br Suboshi: WHAT!?

br Soi: (putting her arms around Nakago's neck) She almost got you. (growls)

br Miaka: Soi . . .I don't WANT him! 

p_i Hurt, hurt, hum-da-hey-da-hey-da-hurt, hurt, hum-da-hey-da-hey-da hurt, hurt, hum-da-hey-da-hey-da-hurt._

p_Whhhhhoooooooaaaaaaaa/i_

pTasuki: (snickers) Damn . . .he really hits those, don't he?

p i_Yeah, I should have known it from the very start,   
br this girl will leave me with a broken heart. /i_

pYui:(rolling her eyes) Well DUH! I mean she's only from another world and she's gotta go back! That sort of thing leads to heart break. (Snorts) otherwise I would've let Subosh- (breaks off)

br Suboshi: (looks up) What'd you say Lady Yui? 

br Yui: (waves a hand) NOTHING!

  
pi_Now listen people what I'm telling you,   
bri a-keep away from-a runaround Sue. /i_

pNakago: (snorts)Go near her and he'll melt your arm!

br Hotohori: Or forsake his emperor!

br Tomo: (Glares at Amiboshi) Or have his little flute buddy save her . . .

br Ashitare: (growls at Nuriko)

br Suboshi: Or blow up parts of cliffs . . .

br Yui: Wait a minute, when were YOU near her, Suboshi!? 

pi_Yeah, I miss her lips and the smile on her face, /i_

pTomo: And what an INTELLIGENT smile it is . . .

br Miboshi: Yes, those two DESERVE each other!

br Nakago: (Chuckles) Her lips were so soft . . .

br Soi: (Charging a lightning bolt)WHAT WAS THAT!?

br Nakago: (blinks) Nothing!

  
pi_the touch of her hair and this girl's warm embrace. /i_

pTasuki:(shudders) The horrors I walked in on . . .

br Hotohori: Also been there!

br Amiboshi: Also done that!

br Suboshi: WHAT!?

  
pi_So if you don't wanna cry like I do, /i_

pAll: (Break out laughing)

br Tasuki: Yeah! The money man in tears!

br Nuriko: (grinning) It just means he's . . .sensitive. . .

br Tomo: Yes, perhaps we should divulge him some of our attention . . .

  
pi_a-keep away from-a runaround Sue. /i_

pSuboshi: (grimacing) Though why anyone would voluntarily go near her is beyond my comprehension.

br Amiboshi: Well think of it as if someone was going after Yui.

br Suboshi: (Leaps up) I'D KILL THEM!

br Yui: Um . . .

br Soi: Suboshi, if you keep scaring her, you'll never get the girl!

br Nakago: (Mutters)(Half-joking) For the love of Seiryu keep scaring her lest you end up like me . . .

pi_Whhhhhhhhhoooooooooooaaaaaaaaa_

  
pbr_She likes to travel around. /i_

pNuriko: Really! How many times did Miaka take off anyway?

br Chichiri: She seemed to do that a lot, no da?

br Chiriko: What was the last count at?

br Tasuki: Who won that pool we had going anyway?

br Mitsukake: I did. I guessed the closest number to the times she actually took off.

  
pi_She'll love you but she'll put you down. /i_

pHotohori: I can attest to that one.

  
pi_Now people let me put you wise.   
brSue goes, out with other guys. /i_

br pAmiboshi: Of course, the question would be how MANY other guys?

Tomo: Yes . . .the priestess is somewhat of a slut

br Miaka: Hey! Hey! Hey!

br Soi: Well honestly . . .even I got paid . . .

pi_Here's the moral of the story from the guy who knows: /i?_

pMiboshi: Nothing!

br Tasuki: Well, he knows how to get Miaka to love him . . .

br Nuriko: And how to get a few coins . . .

br Suboshi: (Cheerily) And even though he's a complete bastard, he REALLY knows how to mess up Nakago's arm! Ha!

br Amiboshi: Um . . .Shun-chan, not so loud!

  
pi_I fell in love and my love still grows. /i_

pSoi: (smirking) It doesn't grow too big . . .

br Miaka: (laughs) THAT'S for damn sure!

br Tasuki: What? Tama-home-boy have trouble in the sack?

br Hotohori: (shaking head) This is much more then I needed to know . . . 

  


pi_Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say,   
br"A-keep away from-a runaround Sue." /i_

p_Yeah keep away from this girl,br_

br _I don't know what she'll do!_

/i

pYui: No one does, but I'm sure it'll entail running off!

ip_Keep away from Sue!/i_

pSuboshi: Yeah, 'cause if you bang my girl before I do . . .

br Tomo: I'll just have to go utterly insane and kill you!

br Nuriko: Yeah, he took on the emperor . . .

br Miboshi: Forget the royalty, he took on Nakago!

br Soi: That was more sheer stupidity though . . .

  
ip_She likes to travel around. /i_

pChichiri: Take off is more like it, no da?

  
ip_She'll love you then she'll put you down.   
brNow people let me put you wise. /i_

pChiriko: I doubt Tamahome's words of wisdom are going to help me much . . .

brTasuki: Kid, I don't think ANYONE'S words of wisdom are gonna help YOU much!

brChirchirri: But we try, no da?  
ip_Sue goes, out with other guys. /i_

pAmiboshi: And mind you, not just a few . . .

br Mitsukake: More like half the cast . . .

pi_Here's the moral of the story from the guy who knows:   
brI fell in love and my love still grows._

  
pSoi and Miaka: (collective cough) Right.

pi_Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say,   
br"A-keep away from-a runaround Sue." /i_

pAmiboshi: No one told me to stay away from her!

br Suboshi: WHAT!?

br Tomo: It's more of a common sense thing.

br Nuriko: Well . . .it does take a special guy for Miaka . . .

br Miaka: What's THAT supposed to mean? (Looks at table) OH! PIZZA!

br Hotohori: (Sigh) Tamahome and Miaka DO deserve each other!

pi_Stay away from that girl!_

brDon't you know what she'll do!?

brYeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

brWooooooooaaaaahhhhh/i

pTamahome jumped off stage and sat down next to Miaka.

p"That song was about protecting me, right?!" she asked. He swallowed hard as everyone else in the room masked smiles.

p"Um . . .yeah, sure it was!" ((Liar)) "SHUTUP!" Yui exchanged and amused glance with Suboshi and too stage again. 

p"All right, all right. Next we got a little impression act going along with the singing . . . Ashitare with Limp Bizkit's Break Stuff!" Yui leapt off stage as Ashitare moved up going with the beat of the music. He wore a black tee-shirt ((A big one)) and a red baseball cap . . .he has a surprising resemblance to Fred Durst, damn, he even sounded like him! Yui and Suboshi began some minor head-banging as Tasuki grinned and Tamahome began to slowly pull himself back into a sitting position as the 'heavy metal' blared.

****

Break Stuff   
pi_It's just one of those days   
brWhere ya don't wanna wake up_ /i

pYui: Been there!

br Suboshi: Done that!

br Amiboshi: Didn't really remember it . . .

br Miaka: We've all had 'em though!

br Chichiri: Yes, but some more then others, no da?

  
pi_Everything is fucked, everybody sucks. /i_

pTomo and Soi: (Simultaneously) Except Nakago! (Glare at each other)

br Nakago: (Silently) Except mother . . .or Soi (Smirks)

br Nuriko: (Sighs happily) Except Hotohori

br Amiboshi: Except you Suboshi.

br Suboshi: Same to you, Aniki. (grins) And Lady Yui!

br Yui: (Smiles) Thank you Suboshi

br Tamahome: 'Cept you . . .Miaka?

br Miaka: Oh . . .Tama . . .home! 

br Tasuki: HEY! Everybody sucks no matter what!

  
pi_You don't really know why   
brBut you wanna justify rippin' someone's head off /i_

pTamahome (Glaring at Suboshi) I know damn well why!

br Suboshi: (Jumps up) Bring it on!

br Yui: (Pulls Suboshi down) Cool it!

br Suboshi: (sighs) Yes Lady Yui.

  
pi_No human contact   
brAnd if you interact your life is on contract   
brYour best bet is to stay away mother fucker!   
brIt's just one of those days!   
  
_p_It's all about the he said she said bullshit   
brI think you better quit lettin' shit slip   
brOr you'll be leavin with a fat lip   
brIt's all about the he said she said bullshit   
brI think you better quit talkin' that shit /i_

pTamahome: (looks up) Yeah, you hear that author? You keep bashing Miaka and I'll come up there and crush you! (Poof)

br Tasuki: (Laughing his ass off) OH MAN!

br Nuriko: Hey Tama, you look GREAT in that pink tutu!

br Tamahome: AHHHHH! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

  
  
pi_It's just one of those days   
_br _Feelin' like a freight train_ /i

pChiriko: (blinks, looking ready to cry) What's-what's THAT!?

br Chichiri: Um, um, it's ok not to know some of these, no da? It's from another world, no da?

  
pi_First one to complain /i_

pMiboshi: (Coughs) Priestess of Suzaku.

  
pi_Leaves with a blood stain /i_

pTomo: That would be Nuriko

br Nuriko: (throws a table at him) Hey!

br Soi: Want me to fry him next time?

br Nuriko: Sure, thanks.

  
pi_Damn right I'm a maniac /i_

pNuriko: No one is contradicting THAT one!

br Tamahome: That would be Suboshi!

br Yui: Oh shut up! You're just too damn dense to comprehend what TRUE loyalty is! (Silence) Did I just say that!?

br Amiboshi: Yup

br Soi: But look how happy you just made him!

br Suboshi: (Happy grin) Thank you Lady Yui . . .

  
pi_You better watch your back   
_br _Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program   
_br _And if you're stuck up /i_

pTamahome: That would be Yui!

br Suboshi: Hey SHUT UP! I'll kill you! (Jumps up)

br Yui: (Holding Suboshi back) Miaka, hit him for me!

br Miaka: (backhands him) BAKA!

  
pi_You just lucked up   
_br _Next in line to get fucked up   
_br _Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker!   
_br _It's just one of those days! /i_

pTamahome: Hey Tasuki, you enjoying this song?

br Tasuki: You bet your motherf#*&#^%$ ass I am!  
  
pi_It's all about the he said she said bullshit.   
_br _I think you better quit lettin shit slip   
_br _Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip_ _/i_

pYui: And massive blood loss. . .

br Amiboshi: One less limb or two . . .

br Tamahome: Or a melted arm . . .  


pi_It's all about the he said she said bullshit   
_br _I think you better quit talkin that shit, punk   
_br _So come and get it /i_

pSuboshi: (Glares at Tamahome) You insult Lady Yui one more time and I'll be singin' that line . . .

br Tamahome: Bring it on yo-yo boy!  
  
pi_I feel like shit_

__

/i

pYui: Yeah, just like everyone else!

__

  
pi_My suggestion is to keep your distance   
_br _Cuz right now I'm dangerous /i_

pHotohori: When is this thing NOT dangerous

br Mitsukake: Perhaps when he was Tama's size.

  
pi_We've all felt like shit   
_br _And been treated like shit /i_

pYui: Oh YEAH!

br Suboshi: Right here!

br Tomo: Count me in!

br Miboshi: Me too!

br Soi: Hell, count anyone under Nakago's infulence!

  
pi_All those motherfuckers, they want to step up   
_br _I hope ya know   
_br _I pack a chainsaw   
_br _I'll skin your ass raw /i_

pHotohori: (smirks)And eat it with some pepper sauce . . .

br Miaka: Oh goodie! Is it time to eat?  


pi_And if my day keeps going this way   
_br _I just might break something tonight   
_br _Give me something to break /i_

pChichiri: Like what, a couple of bones, no da?

br Suboshi: (Begins singing along)  
  
pi_I pack a chainsaw /i_

pChiriko: (Nearly in tears) What's a chainsaw? I don't know!

br Mitsukake: It's all right Chiriko! Here, pet Tama!

__

  
pi_I'll skin your ass raw_ _/i_

pNuriko: Or skewer ya . . .

  
pi_And if my day keeps going this way   
_br _I just might break your fuckin' face tonite /i_

pAmiboshi: (Squeaks) Yui, get Shun-chan to stop singing . . .

br Yui: Um . . .Suboshi? Please stop singing along, you're scaring your brother and I.

br Suboshi: Huh? Oh, sorry Lady Yui. (Stops)

  
  
pi_Give me something to break   
_br _Just give me something to break   
_br _How 'bout your fuckin' face? /i_

pNuriko: No thanks.

br Tasuki: Gonna pass on THAT f^%%#* offer!  
  
pi_I hope you know I pack a chainsaw, what?_ _/i_

pMitsukake: See, Chiriko? He doesn't know what a chainsaw is either!

br Chichiri: Yeah, but that's not saying much, no da?

  
pi_I hope you know I pack a chainsaw, a mutherfuckin' chainsaw, what?   
_br _So come and get it_   
  
p_It's all about the he said she said bullshit.   
_br _I think you better quit lettin shit slip   
_br _Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip/i_

pTomo: A little more then that, or should I say less?

br Amiboshi: Either way just don't let s^%*$ slip!

br Suboshi: (Shocked) Aniki!?

  
pi_It's all about the he said she said bullshit   
_br _I think you better quit talkin that shit   
_br _So come and get it /i_

pYui: (Cheerfuly) A better name for that would have been the 'Seiryu Theme Song'

br Tamahome: Or 'Suboshi's Personal Anthem'

br Suboshi: Hey, you wanna take it outside money man?

pThe Seiryu applauded enthusiastically as the Suzaku attempted not too look quite as intimidated as the felt. Ashitare leapt off the stage andtook his seat on the floor again. Yui got on the stage again, frowning at the list.

p"Well . . .um, it's Mitsukake going next in what he calls the 'Medicine and Cat Medley." She looked at the confused faces and shrugged. "Uh, Mitsukake, take it away!" Mitsukake took stage as Chiriko plugged his ears. Everyone leaned forward, curious as to what the silent man would . . .sing? Some cheesy music came on.

pi_Plop, Plop_

br _Fizz, fizz_

br _Whooooooo!_

br _What a relief it is! /i_

pThe music ended. Everyone stared, jaws on the floor. Tama accompanied him for the second one. 

pi_I want chicken! (Meyow, Meyow, Meyow)_

br _I want liver! (Meyow, Meyow, Meyow)_

br _Meyow Mix, ( Meyow, Meyow, Meyow)_

br _Meyow Mix (Meyow, Meyow, Meyow)_

br _Please Deliver! (Meyow, Meyow, Meyow) /i_

pMitsukake walked off the stage to complete and utter silence. Tasuki leapt up.

p"He can't do that? Can he!?" ((Well . . .I guess if you WANTED him to sing more . . .))

p"NO! NO! NO!" A collective scream headed by Mitsukake shook the room. ((All right then, get on with the show)) Yui sighed and got up again. 

p"Ok, that was weird . . .um, up next is . . ." She sighed and dropped her arm to her side. "As if it couldn't get ANY weirder. It's MIBOSHI! He hasn't said what he's singing." She hopped off stage as Miboshi, grimacing, floated above the stage. Chiriko eeped and hid behind Mitsukake. Miboshi looked at the ceiling. 

p"WHY must I sing this?" ((Because I think it's funny.)) "I should just come and inhabit you're little cousin!" ((Want me to come up with something worse? You know I can! Just threaten my kid cousin again!)) Miboshi sighed and began singing to the lullaby.

pi_Rock-a-bye Baby/i_

pAll: (Lots o' Laughter)

pi_On the tree top_

br _When the wind blows_

br _The cradle will rock_

br _When the bough breaks/i_

pChiriko: (Laughing) Did Tatara cause it to break?

pi_The cradle will fall_

br _And down will come baby_

br _Cradle/i_

pMiaka: Demonic snake things . . 

Tamahome: Rock giant thing . . .

Chiriko: Evil spells . . .

Suboshi and Yui: The whole darn palace . . .

pi_and allllllllllllllllllll! /i_

pMiboshi floated back to his place amid the loud and plentiful laughter that shook the room. Silently he cursed the author for taking his powers to summon daemons of the higher classes. Yui, wiping her eyes, climbed back up on the stage.

p"Well, that was . . .amusing to say the least. Amiboshi is going next, he didn't say what he's singing." She took a closer look at the list. "But the author did say he could just play the flute if he wanted . . .so I'm thinking classical?" ((Hee Hee, not bloody likely!)) She looked at Amiboshi who just gave a small smile to the crowd and helped her off stage as he went on. Blushing slightly he rubbed the back of his neck and blinked in the glare of the lights.

pAmiboshi: Um, I'm g-gonna sing Last Resort by Papa Roach.

p (Heavy Hard-Core rock music blares. Amiboshi gets into it, jumping around to the pulse of the music and head banging as the crowd goes wide-eyed and trembles )

pi_Cut my life into pieces _

br _This is my last resort /i_

pNakago: (Swallowing hard) What . . .the flute?

br Soi: (Blinking) Nakago . . .this isn't the time to joke.

pi_Suffocation /i_

pTasuki: WHAT!? He talkin' about the f(*&^&*g river!?

pi_No breathing /i_

pTamahome: YEP! The river!

br Miaka/Nuriko/Yui: Will you SHUTUP!?

br Soi: Insensitive Pricks.

br Tomo: (rolls eyes) Seeing who you sleep with, isn't that comment a WEE hypocritical (ZAP) Urk_ . . ._

pi_Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding /i_

pSuboshi: (Near tears) Is he talking about when we talk? Does he mean it hurts him!? Did I hurt Amiboshi?

br Yui: (Comforting)No, shhhhh! Of course he isn't Suboshi!

br Chiriko: (quietly) I think this is more repressed anger and frustration coming out. The 'Suboshi' side surfacing in his normally gentle brother.

pi_This is my last resort _

p_Cut my life into pieces_

br _ I've reached my last resort _

br _Suffocation_

br _ No breathing_

br _ Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding_

br _ Do you even care if I die bleeding? _

br _Would it be wrong? /i_

pAll: YES!

br Miaka: (near tears) Yes! Yes it would be wrong Amiboshi!

br Suboshi: Please Aniki! Listen to her! (pauses) Did I just say that? Why did I say that!? 

br Yui: (Rubbing his shoulder) Because you care! It's ok!

pi_Would it be right? /i_

pEveryone: NO!

br Nuriko: You can play the flute and I won't say anything! Really!

__

pi_If I took my life tonight _

br _Chances are that I might_

br _ Mutilation outta sight/i_

pMisukake: (Leans towards Suboshi) (quietly) I can fix those later for him . . .

br Suboshi: (nods, distracted) Thank you . . .

br Yui: (Hugging Suboshi) It'll be all right . . .we'll his friends, we'll help him.

br Miaka: Yeah Subsohi, we'll help him.

br Chichiri: Poor kid, no da?

pi_ And I'm contemplating suicide _

p_Cuz I'm losing my sight_

br _ Losing my mind _

br _Wish somebody would tell me _

br _I'm fine /i_

pHotohori: You know . . .when I was his age I felt exactly the same way

br Nuriko: Your majesty . . .

br Yui: I think we can all relate one way or another but

br Miaka: We oughta watch out for him anyway

pi_Losing my sight_

br _ Losing my mind _

br _Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine/i_

pTasuki: Uh . . .it's all f(^#*&g right kid . . .

pi_I never realized_

br _ I was spread too thin _

br _To live was too late_

br _ And I was empty within /i_

pSuboshi: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

br Yui: (Hugging him) It's not you fault!

pi_Hungry!_

br _ Feeding on chaos_

br _And living in sin /i_

pSoi: (scowls) Nakago! Tell him the mission wasn't his fault! YOU sent him!

br Nakago: (points to Soi while looking at Amiboshi) What she said

pi_Downward spiral where do I begin?_

br _ It all started when I lost my mother_

br _ No love for myself _

br _And no love for another. /i_

pAmiboshi: (breaks from song) But that isn't true . . .I love Shun-chan! ((Yes, yes, and Miaka too.))

br Suboshi: WHAT!? ((*Sigh* Just get on with the song, ok? It's proving a point))

pi_Searching to find a love up on a higher level/i_

pSuboshi: Yeah . . .Seiryuu left quite a bit to be desired . . .

Yui: (Soothingly)I know, I know

p_Finding nothing but questions and devils/i_

pMiaka: I'll take 'What is meeting Nakago for 500, Alex'

pi_Cuz I'm losing my sight_

br _ Losing my mind _

br _Wish somebody would tell me in fine_

br _Losing my sight_

br _Losing my mind_

br _Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine _

br _Nothing's alright_

br _Nothing is fine /i_

pMiaka: (Softly) He's right

br Soi: Hey, you GOT your boy!

br Yui: But look what she had to go through to get him!

br Tasuki: Who put her through tha-

br Tamahome: SHUT UP TASUKI!

br Suboshi: I can and WILL kill you!

pi_I'm running and I'm crying _

br _I'm crying I'm crying I'm crying I'm crying/i_

pEveryone: (Averting eyes thinking of their own lives)

pi_ I can't go on living this way /i_

pAmiboshi stood on stage shaking and took a deep breath. "Ok . . .I'm gonna stop here." He looked up. "That ok?" 

p"Down here, Kou." Finishing off a slice of pizza stood the girl from earlier. Amiboshi walked off the stage and sat next to his brother who was in a mutual hug with Yui. "Um . . .I, I guess I owe an explanation for that one, neh?" 

p"You're damn right you do!" Yelled Tasuki.

p"Why'd you go and get us all, the kids especially, upset!? Think it was funny!?" Bellowed Nuriko, pointing to Amiboshi, Suboshi and Yui. The girl shook her head.

p"No. I don't do that. I'm not Nakago. I wanted to prove something. No matter how bloody happy-go-lucky someone seems there can be trouble. So you'd better bloody damn well look out for your friends." She frowned and looked at her feet. "And when you do stuff like that, in the song . . .well you saw how upset you all got! You can't hurt yourself without hurting the people who care about you. No matter what you do." The girl took a deep breath. "Ok . . .I'm outta here. Sing on." She walked out the door. Yui squeezed Suboshi and gave Amiboshi a kiss on the forehead before taking stage again. 

p"Ok . . .I guess, for the sake of the story we can't fully deal with this ((Right.)) So Tasuki is singing next . . .he'll be singing a traditional round. Tasuki?" Tasuki leapt up on stage as the upbeat camp song began and Yui stepped off. With a wild grin Tasuki began singing at the top of his lungs, waving his arms about and throwing his head back.

p

i_Oh I love the mountains! /i_

pHotohori: He is a mountain bandit . . .

br Tomo: One would assume he'd like them

br Chichiri: Yeah, why else would he live there, no da?

pi_I love the rolling hills! /i_

pNakago: All right . . .

br Amiboshi: He's really into nature . . .

pi_I love the flowers! /i_

pAmiboshi: (laughing) REALLY, REALLY into nature!

br Tomo: (grinning) Pansies I hope . . .I'm really luckin' out tonight!

br Nuriko: Hey, who'da thought Tasuki has a feminine side!?

br Tamahome: (snickering) This is TOO easy! T

pi_I love the daffodils_!_ /i_

p

br Tomo: Damn!

br Suboshi: (laughing) Ya know, maybe there is some truth to that whole rumor about Nuriko and Tasuki gettin' it on!

br Yui: (laughing) Girls like a guy's sensitive side but this is TOO much!

br Nuriko/Tamahome: (Laughing to hard to insult Tasuki)

pTaskui: i_Boom de-hayda/i _(Breaks from song and looks at all the laughing people) WHAT!?

pChichiri: Tasuki, if you had sung that when we faced Nakago . . .

br Tamahome: He might've lost from sheer SHOCK!

br Nakago: (laughing) Don't count on it . . .

br Tasuki: What!? This is an old fashioned BANDIT song!

br Nuriko: A bandit song? You GOTTA be kidding!

br Hotohori: No bandit would ever sing that!

br Chiriko: It does go against their personality profiles!

br Mitsukake: Were you DRUNK when this 'bandit song' was taught to you?

br Tasuki: (Remembers he was drunk) Uh . . .well, that was just a JOKE! HAHAHHA! Yeah, a f^%$ joke! You guys didn't REALLY think I meant it, did you? Hahahah . . .er, here's the real one!

pi_First we'll drink and drink and drink/i_

pMiboshi: And drink!

br Nuriko: And drink!

br Amiboshi: And drink!

br Suboshi: And drink!

br Yui: And drink!

br Hotohori: And drink!

br Miaka: And drink!

br Tamahome: And drink!

br ((This running gag brought to you by the author's lack of a life))

br Tomo: And drink!

br Nakago: And drink!

br Soi: And drink!

br Mitsukake: And drink!

br Chichiri: And drink, no da!

br Chiriko: And consume!

br Tama: Meyow!

pi_And then we'll fight and fight and fight/i_

pTamahome: Ok, this is a little better . . . 

br Nuriko: Much more his style!

pi_And then we'll kill and kill and kill /i_

pNakago: Much better

br Tomo: Hm . . .I'm begining to like this song . . .

br Misboshi: Yes . . .it has spunk

br Chiriko: Spunk!?

br Miboshi: Yeah! I like that word! You gotta problem with that shrimp!?

br Chiriko: (Quickly) No! No!

br Mitsukake: (To Miboshi) Bother him again and I'll squash you, got it shrimp!?

br Miboshi: (Gulps) Yessir.

pi_Then we'll pillage and plunder and steal/i_

pHotohori: (Disguted) In traditional bandit fashion

br Soi: (Mutter) Says the jackass who taxes everyone . . .

pi_And then we'll go and rape- /i_

pYui/Miaka: WHAT!?

br Nuriko: TASUKI!

br Amiboshi: How DARE you joke about such a thing!

br Nakago: (Growls) You think it's funny what happened to my mother!? OR SOI!?

br Tasuki: Um . . .it's just a song . . .

br Yui: Suboshi, get him!

br Miaka: (points)Tamahome, kick his ass!

br Soi: Nakago!

pThe improved song ended abruptly as Nakago, Suboshi and Tamahome grabbed Tasuki and dragged him into the back alley. All the men followed to help give Tasuki a good beat down. The girls stayed inside and had a conversation on how chauvinist some men were and this was why selective castration really wasn't such a bad thing. The men returned from the back alley and all had had a wonderful time beating Tasuki for his complete lack of political correctness. Why, even Chiriko came back with a fistful of bright red hair.

pYui came onto stage again and glanced at the list. "Nuriko is going next. She'll be singing Superhero by Steven Lynch! But she changed some of the words, ok? " Nuriko took stage and nodded to Yui.

p"Thank you, but I'm a guy." "Really!?" "Uh . . .yeah." "Oh!" 

p"Uh, anyway . . .I'm going to need people to come on stage for each verse, ok?" The crowd booed ((DO IT!)) A collective groan ensued and a tense air crept into the room due to the enthusiastic tone the author had. Nuriko began swaying to the happy, light-hearted , acoustic guitar music and whistled.

p (Ashtare on stage)

pi_If I could be a superhero, _

br _I would be Awesome Man! /i_

pTamahome: Awesome Man!?

br Chichiri: He's Awesome all ready, no da?

br Miboshi: Awesome man sounds kind of gay . . .

br Tomo: Well look who's up there, baby face.

pi_I'd fly around the world fighting crime, /i_

pSoi: (Raising an eyebrow) Fly?

br Miboshi: ONLY I CAN DO THAT!

br Tomo: (Snickering) Poor baby! But I too can fly if I choose to do so.

br Miaka: And don't forget Taiitskune!

br Tamahome: Or the Nyan-Nyans! 

br Chichiri: I can use my kesa, no da!?

br Hotohori: That is much better . . .

pi_According to my awesome plan_

p_And if I saw criminals trying to hide,_

br _Hurting other people and making them cry/i_

p(Nuriko begins to kick the crap outta Ashtare)

pMiaka: Like furball did when we were in Sairo?

br Hotohori: (Wincing) Look at the fur fly . . .

br Soi: Damn . . .and I thought the whip was bad . . .

br Nakago: (Covering eyes) Even I have a bit of a heart

pi_I'd haul them off to jail in my awesome van/i_

p(Nuriko throws Ashtare through a wall)

pChiriko: What's a va-

br Mitsukake: (grips Chiriko) Let it go kid 

br Chichirri: (nervously) Yeah, we don't want to interrupt Nuriko's nice song, no da

pi_'Cause I would be Awesome man! /i_

pAll: (Gulp) yes, yes you would!

p(Tasuki, still a bloody pulp, on stage)

pi_Now, some criminals want you to be a criminal! /i_

pYui: (sarcastic) GEE, now WHO do I know who's like THAT!?

br Amiboshi: (Matching tone) Gee Yui, I don't know . . .Shun do you have any ideas?

br Suboshi: (matching tone) Why, could it, could it possibly be-

br All three at once: NAKAGO!?

pi_And they'll offer you things like drugs and alcohol! /i_

pYui: (dryly) Or three wishes after which you die . . .

br Suboshi: Or floating razor yo-yo's

br Amiboshi: Hey, both of you shut up! All I got was a crummy flute!

br Miboshi: What're you bitchin' about kid? You're the only one who survived!

pi_But we know what to do kids!_

br _We just say no! /i_

pMitsukake: Hear that Chiriko?

br Chiriko: Just say no, next time Tasuki slips me a few cups!

br Hotohori: Sounds like we're too late . . .

pi_If I could be a super hero,_

br _I would be Sake Free Boy! /i_

pHotohori: This does not look good for Tasuki . . .

br Soi: (grinning darkly) Flame head is gonna get it . . .

br Tamahome: This oughta be good!

pi_Telling the world of the evil of sake,_

br _And all of the lives they destroy! /i_

pChichirri: Well . . .nothing 's wrong with a little sake, no da?

br Amiboshi: (sighs) Three words, drunk Nyan-Nyans.

br Chichirri: FRY HIM!

pi_Well I'd take all the bandits who're getting so drunk_

br _With their knives and clubs and their sake in a trunk/i_

p(Sets Tasuki on fire)

_ _

pi_As I burn them alive I would scream with joy . . . /i_

pYui/Suboshi: (Burst out laughing)

br Tamahome: FRY TASUKI! FRY!

br Miaka: Tamahome, that isn't nice!

br Soi: (jumping up, yelling)Yeah! Burn him! Send him straight to the seventh circle of HELL!

br Nakago: Er, Soi? (tugging on her sleeve) Please sit down . . .

br Tomo: I'll be dammed . . . there's more to the whore then that soldier or beaten down attitu- (ZAP)

br Chiriko: Ironic punishment.

pi_'Cause I would be Sake Free Boy! /i_

pAll: (false cheer, all praying not to be next) Whatever you say!

p(Nakago on stage)

pi_If I could be a super hero_

br _I'd be Immigration Dude! /i_

pChichiri: (Smirking) Hin Tribe

br Tamahome: THIS'LL BE GOOD!

br Suboshi: (grins) Hurt Lady Yui, will you? You sonofa-

br Yui: (mock prayer) Oh please, please do something very, very painful to him . . .

pi_I'd send all the foreigners back to their homes,_

br _For eating up all of our food! /i_

pMiaka: HE ATE ALL THE FOOD!? KILL HIM!

br Hotohori: It's bastards like him that cause taxes to go up!

p(Starts beating on Nakago)

pi_And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot_

br _Like landscaping, dish washing, picking up fruit! /i_

pSoi: (chuckling) Yeah, I can just imagine Nakago picking me strawberries . . .grapes . . .cherries

br Tomo: (Snorts) I doubt Nakago picked your (coughs) But I can see him feeding me grapes as we-(ZAP)(ZAP)(ZAP)

pi_I'd pass a lot of laws to get rid of their brood . . . /i_

pSoi: Hey! Stay away from our future kids!

br Miboshi: Give it up you deluded (ZAP) Urk . . .

pi_'Cause I'd be Immigration Dude!_

p_Kids, you can make up your very own super hero,_

br _If you could, who would it be? /i_

pChiriko: I'd be Tasuki or Mitsukake!

br All: Awwwwwww!

br Suboshi: I'd be Magneto!

br Amiboshi: Uh . . .Shun, he wasn't a superhero . . .

br Suboshi: Yeah, but he could control metal, right? I'd jerk Nakago around by his armor for what he did to Yui!

br All: (Minus one neon red Yui) AWWWWWWWWWWW!

p(Miaka and Hotohori on stage)

pi_If you could be a super hero,_

br _Would you be justice guy?_

br _Making sure people get what they deserve,_

br _Especially women who lie! /i_

pYui: See? So I WAS justified to think she was lying!

br Suboshi: (grinning) I'm gonna like THIS one!

pi_Like if a girl left her boyfriend with four kids, a dad and no job/i_

pTamahome: (sarcastically) Now whoever could that be.

br Suboshi: (holds up empty hands) Worlds smallest violin playing there for ya!

pi_And runs off to Konan with an Emperor named "Bob",_

br _You could skin them and drain them off blood so they die . . . especially Miaka! /i_

p(Nuriko throws Hotohori through a wall . . .but gently)

pSuboshi: (grins) I can do that!

br Amiboshi: (looking up) What's that laughing sound.

br Yui: Prob'ly the author. ((Hey, shut up!)) Well it's true! ((*insane giggling*))

pi_Then you'd be Justice Guy! /i_

pi_Or you could be more subtle, no, I didn't mean to be vague/i_

pSoi: (chuckling) Yeah? How many girls go and do THAT!?

br Tomo: (smirking) Only that complete and utter moron of a little girl.

br Miboshi: Really, most girls would WANT to be Emporess

br Amiboshi: (coughs and shoots a look at Soi) Now who do WE know like that!?

br Nakago: Insult her again and I kill you.

br Amiboshi: (squeeks) Yessir!

pi_You could give her mad cow disease and let him die of the plague! /i_

pYui: Wait, wasn't it Miaka who got the plague?

br Suboshi: (shrugs) Their Suzaku, who cares which one it was?

pi_As long as they suffer for their terrible crimes . . .especially Miaka/i_

p(Throws Miaka through the roof)

pi_Then you'd be Justice Guy! _

p_Yes then you would be a super hero like me! /i_

pWild applause broke out in the crowd as almost everyone got to see someone they held a grudge against get their ass whipped by Nuriko. Nuriko grinned and flexed as he took his seat again and flipped his hair back. Yui, clapping, took stage again.

p"That was pretty great." She smiled. "Thanks for the Nakago part. Anyway, you think that comment made Soi mad?" The group looked at a furious Soi. "Wait'll she hears this! Tomo is next and singing Dreamer by Livin' Joy!" The song had to be delayed for five minutes (after Soi blew a few fuses) to allow repair time for the equipment. However, a painted and proud Tomo took the stage and swayed to the up beat dance music.

__

I'm a 

Miaka: (bitterly) Would be rapist?

I'm a 

Soi: Painted homo freak who doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of humanity!? (Charges bolt)

Nakago: Soi, let it go. I have no interest in him.

I'm a 

Amiboshi: I'm gonna go with Soi.

I'm a 

Suboshi: Fun and easy practice target!?

I'm a 

Tamahome: Idiot who can't get stabbing someone in the chest with a razor feather illusion and then throwing them off a cliff with intent to kill right!?

Chichirri: I think that's the best comment he's made all night, no da?

I'm a 

Yui: Pervert whose habit is sneaking up on heterosexual kids when they're kissing?

I'm a dreamer

Miaka: Well if he thought he really had a chance with me . . .

Tamahome: (rolls eyes at her comment)

Soi: If he thinks he's getting near MY man . . .

Amiboshi: (sighing) And if he can make those illusions . . . 

Love, life and laughter

is all I believe 

Miboshi: You mean that ear splitting sound that bursts from your mouth!?

Nakago: It is most annoying.

My savior is pure now 

Because my lonely heart would bleed

Suboshi: (chuckles) Yeah, because I punched a hole through it!

Soi: (pats his head) And we're very, very proud and grateful.

Yui: (grinning) Hey, don't encourage him too much!

I never learned how to hold love

Miboshi: Not if Soi breaks your fingers. 

Chichirri: Or fuses them together, no da?

And stay strong to me 

Nakago: (growls) I'll get a good, strong grip on your neck . . .

Chichirri: This is turning into love songs to Nakago, no da?

Hotohori: Really! (sniffs) Can you believe I didn't even get one?

Nuriko: Oh don't feel so sad your majesty, I still love you!

Now I close my eyes now

Hotohori: And wait for that final bolt from Soi?

Tamahome: Or psycho boy?

Nuriko: Or psycho flute boy?

And I'm dreaming right 

where I belong

Soi: The seventh circle of hell?

Amiboshi: I second that.

Suboshi: I can send him there! 

Yui: You all ready did!

Here we lie all alone am I dreaming 

Soi and everyone else: (snorts) That's for damn sure!

Your heart's smooth my soul is unbelieving 

Miboshi: Shouldn't that be a bit different!? 

Nuriko: Yeah, like Nakago holding Tomo's still beating heart . . .

Tasuki: And since when did Nakago have a soul anyway?

Now you see the me 

and I'm feeling, I'm feeling 

I feel your hands and your lips and the heat of your body

Soi: (smiling off in the happy land of reminiscence) Yeah . . .

Whisper your love to me say that you love me 

Please just love me down and never leave me

Mibsohi: THAT'LL be the day!

Amiboshi: That hell freezes over . . .

Hotohori: The day I'm not the most beautiful man on earth . . .

Nuriko: And I start hitting on Miaka . . . 

Tasuki: And I join AA!

Chichirri: And I stop saying 'no da', no da?

Tamahome: And I stop loving money . . .

Miaka: And I'm not hungry . . .

Soi: And I stop loving Nakago . . .

Suboshi: And I start liking Miaka . . .

Nakago: And I stop being manipulative . . .

Yui: And Miaka gets a higher grade then me . . .

I'm a dreamer

Here we lie all alone am I dreaming 

Your heart's smooth my soul is unbelieving 

Now you see the me and I'm feeling 

Miaka: 'The me'!?

Taskui: Which f*&^g one!?

Amiboshi: There's too many to count!

I'm feeling 

I feel your hands and your lips and the heat of your body

Whisper your love to me say that you love me 

Please just love me down and never leave me

I'm a dreamer

Am I a dreamer?

Am I 

Chiriko: The bastard who tried to kill us in the desert!? You bet!

All: (Stunned silence)

Mitsukake: Ok, no more adventures for that boy.

Am I a dreamer?

Am I 

Nakago: An annoyance which I am forgetting why it is I am tolerating it? 

Soi: You bet.

Am I a dreamer?

Am I 

Miboshi: An incompetent commander?

Amiboshi: Yep.

Am I a dreamer?

All: YES!

As the music faded Soi abruptly stood, raised her hand on high and blasted Tomo out of the hole Nuriko had made in the wall. "See? The bad man made the hole in the wall!" Nuriko commented to Tasuki with a smirk. Soi nodded and draped her arms around Nakago's neck. Everyone else either chose to remain wisely silent lest they incur the wraith of the Lighting Goddess or applaud. A charred Tomo crawled back in, trailing light wisps of smoke. Yui took a breath and the stage.

"Ok . . .after that little display, not that it was a bad one! We've got Chichirri singing "If You Could See Me Now" by the John Faye Power Trip!" Chichirri vanished and re-appeared on stage with a grin. 

"Thanks, no da!" ((Ah, one thing Monk man)) "Yes, no da?" ((Don't say no da during the song, got it?)) "WHY!?" ((Tamahome made a bet with Suboshi, he thinks you can't do it and I just CAN'T have Tamahome winning!)) "Er . . ." ((Do it or I take your kesa and kasa.)) "Ok, ok, no da!" The mournful rock song began as he removed his mask with an upward grimace. Suboshi grinned and Tamahome slammed his head into the table. Then he slammed his head a few more times.

__

Found A Picture from 11th grade

Mitsukake: And here I thought Chiriko was our only scholar, no da? (pats his head)

Chiriko: (grins) Nope, Chichirri studied with Taiitskune, no da? 

((You buncha bastards))

__

  
Looks like we're marching in an April Fool's parade

Suboshi: Miaka could join him in THAT, no da?

Soi: (smirks) Tomo as well, no da?

Nakago: And Miboshi.

Amiboshi: No, "no da"?

Nakago: Do not tempt me boy.

Suboshi: Don't threaten my brother, no da!

Yui: That sounds a lot less threatening with "no da" at the end, no da?

Hotohori: Really, how ever do we take him seriously, no da?

__

  
I was holding that stupid hand grenade

Tamahome: (mutters) No, that would be Yo-yo boy, no da?

__

  
Like I had the world in my palm

Yui: (coughs) Miaka (coughs)

Miaka: Huh?

Yui: Nothing, no da!

__

  
'Til the picture of you and what's-his-name  
You came of age the day I asked you if you came

Nuriko: Chichirri being that young and brash, no da? 

Hotohori: (disbelieving) I can't even imagine it, no da?

Chiriko:(confused) Came where, no da?

Tasuki: (bright red)Ahh . . .to the circus, no da!

Chiriko: But that doesn't make any sense, no da!

Mitsukake: (looking upward) Couldn't you remove him from the room for this song, no da?

((No. Retaliation for the 'no da' thing. Besdies, it's funny Hee Hee))

__

  
I'm a monster to make you feel ashamed  
For falling in love without me  
But I couldn't let it be 

  
So where am I gonna go   
To look for you in someone new

Nuriko: (rolls eyes) Why not Miaka, no da?

Soi: (dryly) Yeah, everyone else does ,no da?

__

  
And how am I gonna know   
That what I find won't make me blind

Miboshi: Don't feel too bad, you've still got the one eye!

__

  
'Cause I've been thinkin'

Tomo: (sneers) An advisor who thinks? What is the world coming to? (sighs) No da.

__

  
Can't stop thinkin'   
You might change your mind  
If you could see me now 

Chiriko: As a Celestial Warrior! No da?

Hotohori: As an Imperial Advisor! No da?

Mitsukake: As a good friend! No da?

Amiboshi: As a monk. No da?

Tasuki: Who wears a mask! No da?

Miboshi: And one eye! No da?

Soi: Whose voice drops an octave when he's upset! No da?

__

Lonley picture stuck without a frame  
The only one to call you by your proper name

Suboshi: But that's how you address those you love, correct Yui?

Yui: (looks at him)

Suboshi: (blushes) Lady Yui! I mean Lady Yui!

Nakago: (sighs) Children. What do you think Soi?

Soi: (smiles) Children.

  
Hang me up in a little hall of fame  
'Cause I've got my whole life to wait 

Tamahome: That and a few lives after if you play your cards right!

Miaka: Tamahome! (hugs him)

Tasuki: (rolls eyes) Oh brother . . .

So where am I gonna go   
To look for you in someone new

Tomo: Hotohori could be singing this song as well . . .No da . . .

Soi: So could you, no da.

Tamahome: (points) Or Psycho-Yo Yo Boy! No da

Yui: (rolls eyes) You're and idiot, you know that money man? No duh.

Suboshi: (grins) Thank you Lady Yui, no da. 

__

  
And how am I gonna know   
That what I find won't make me blind

Tomo: Don't look at the sun, no da.

Tamahome: Or Taiitskune!

__

  
'Cause I've been thinkin'  
Can't stop thinkin'   
You might change your mind  
If you could see me now

In my billfold memory debris  
There's just a ring now where the Trojan used to be

Chiriko: What's a Trojan, no da?

Tasuki: No . . .Da . . .

Mitsukake: It's a citizen of a city of the future, no da.

Tomo: It's a condom. No da.

Chiriko: What's that, no da?

Tasuki and Mitsuakake: (speechless)

Soi: Don't worry about it sweet heart, you'll find out when you're older, ok? No da?

Chiriko: Ok. No da?

__

  
All the time I carried it with me

Nuriko: Y' know . . .I'd bet it's a metaphor for those rings on his staff, no da?

Miaka: Yeah! That'd make more sense! No da?

Hotohori: Or a vague reference to his state of celibacy. No da?

Tasuki: Yes, how deep the author was when she thought of using this song, no da?

Mitsukake: Yes. (looks up) Now can Chiriko leave? No da?

((Nice Try. NO!))

All: DAMMIT NO DA!

__

  
Reminding myself of the pain  
of you calling out his name 

Miboshi: Why was she calling out 'his' name? No da?

Nakago: Most likely when he was killing the other man. No da?

Tasuki: Hey! Lay off, no da?

Soi: It's the truth, no da!

So where am I gonna go 

Tasuki: The guy does get around, no da?

Hotohori: Always traveling, yes, no da.

__

  
To look for you in someone new  
And how am I gonna know   
That what I find won't make me blind  
'Cause I've been thinkin'  
Can't stop thinkin'   
You might change your mind  
If you could see me now

Soi: (softly to Amiboshi) You brother's song in a few years, no da?

Amiboshi: (grins) His song now!

Chichirri secured his mask on his face and disappeared into his hat, to re-appear at his table. "All yours Yui, no da!" He said with a smile. She grinned and climbed onto the stage as Suboshi hit Tamahome up for the money he was owed. 

"Ok, guys . . .last song of the night!" A loud cheer rose from the audience and Yui beamed. ((Ingrates, all of ya!)) "Yep, I know, I know. And I'll be singing it. So let's get it over with, huh? I'll be singing Sinead O'Connor's "No Man's Woman". The mellow, bass tune music pumped as Yui slightly bounced to the beat.

__

I don't wanna be no man's woman

Tomo: Well, looks like you're out of luck Suboshi!

Miboshi: Better luck next time!

It don't make me happy this mantrolling 

Chiriko: What's that?

Tasuki: Heck, I never even knew it was a f%*&% word!

Miaka: Shut up! I wanna hear this!

thing that you got for me so I become

no man's woman 

Tomo: Definately breaking away from her former actions . . .

Amiboshi: Hey, lay off. She's nice.

Miaka: Yeah, she's not under Nakago's influence anymore!

I don't wanna be no man's woman 

I've other work I want to get done 

Tamahome: What!? Summoning Seiryuu!?

Chichirri: Er . . .you shouldn't be so harsh, no da?

Tamahome: Why not?

Miaka: 'Cause she's gonna go farther then me back home.

Soi: And Suboshi can kill you.

I haven't travelled this far to become

no man's woman no man's woman 

Cuz I'm tired of it and

Amiboshi: We all were! Can't say I'm sad it's over!

Soi: (grins) Nor I.

Tomo: Of course not! You GOT him in the end!

Miboshi: Yeah, the rest of us were screwed!

Nuriko: Hey! You guys were evil and bound to get it, we got screwed on the side of good too!

Mitsukake: Yes, even I, the pacifist healer died!

Chiriko: And the sweet little kid.

Suboshi: And me, the hard working, loving, loyal guy!

Tamahome: (coughs) Bull (coughs)

I'm so scared of it that 

Nuriko: (frowns) No one can blame her on that either . . . 

I'll never trust again 

Suboshi: (sadly) Lady Yui . . .

cuz a man can fake you 

take your soul and make

you miserable in so much pain

Miaka: (sarcastically) Can't think of ANYONE like that!

Soi: (coughs) Nakago (coughs)

Miboshi: Oh, finally accepting it?

My friends think I'm alone but I've got secrets

Miaka: (grins) Yui? Having secrets? I just can't believe it!

Suboshi: (growls) Whoever he is I'll kill him . . .

Amiboshi: (puts a hand on his shoulder) Calm down Shun . . . 

I don't tell everything about the love I get 

I got a lovin' man but he's a spirit 

Miboshi: Spirit? Wouldn't that indicate Nakago, Soi?

Hotohori: (snorts) Loving!?

Nakago: Hardly.

Suboshi: (angry) I swear to Seiryuu I'll kill him! (glares at Nakago)

Amiboshi: (points) Notice how Yui just winked at you?

Miaka: Which she doesn't do very often?

Suboshi: (sullen) No. I'll kill him.

Nakago: She winked at you.

Tomo: Take a hint, boy.

Suboshi: (Sullen) He's dead.

Soi: (sighs) She's singing to you, you idiot.

Tamahome: Really! How stupid can you get?

Suboshi: Shut up I'll kill- (brightens) To me!? 

He never does me harm never treats me bad 

Miaka: (grins) See?

Nuriko: Not like Nakago!

Suboshi: (grinning like an idiot)

He'd never takes away all the love he has 

Amiboshi: See!? (slaps Subi on the back) Of course it's you!

Miaka: (sighs happily and leans against Tamahome) May they share the love we do!

All but Subi, Miaka and Tamahome: (gags)

and I'm forgiven oh a million times 

Soi: Which for her should come in handy . . .

Nakago: Seeing how she's been rude to him . . .

Tomo: Pushed him away repeatedly . . .

Amiboshi: Rejected him a few times . . .

Miboshi: Got him killed . . .

Suboshi: (dreamily) Why would I care about any of that?

__

I'm never tired of it and 

Soi: How could she be? It's undying devotion!

Nakago: (to Soi) I know I never do . . .

I'm not scared of it 

Tasuki: Well why wouldja be? Unless it's that f(*&^%$ scary song!

cuz it doesn't cause me pain 

Nuriko: And that's what counts.

Like a man can fake you 

take your soul and make you 

never be yourself again 

Miaka: (sarcastically) Gee, now WHO did that to a number of people!?

Amiboshi: (same tone) I dunno . . .could it be . . . 

Soi: Nakago?

Tomo: Nakago, I'm not complaining unlike that painted whor- (ZAP)

I never wanna be no man's woman 

Miboshi: Learn a lesson Soi! (ZAP)

I only wanna be my own woman 

Suboshi: (dreamily) And I respect and admire that . . .

Miaka: (smiles) We all do.

I haven't travelled this far to become

no man's woman 

Suboshi: (grins) Mine . . . 

Soi: (waving a hand in front of his face) He's gone . . .

Tomo: Well take advantage of it. Do something to him.

Amiboshi: Do anything and I kill you!

no man's woman 

no man's woman

Blushing, Yui stopped the music and grinned.

"Well, that's it! We can go now!" A loud cheer erupted from the crowd as near everyone stampeded the door down in their haste to place as much distance between themselves and the mike as possible. There were, of course a few exceptions. Yui, still blushing, hopped off the stage and walked over to where Suboshi stood with a wide smile. He bowed and offered his arm, she took it and the two departed. Nakago and Soi, still seated, chuckled.

"Children." Soi summed it up.

"Indeed, children." Nakago said as he rose and mimicked Suboshi. And thus, the bar was empty.

****


	3. Sequel?

Wow . . .I'm really flattered by all the emails and the reviews I've gotten concerning this one. I wrote it about six months ago, and I was half way through "The Seishi Sing Again" but I stopped because I figured I was never going to post it, so why waste the time. So, I leave it to the fans. Should I finish writing another installment and post it on fanfiction.net ? 


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